Children say the darndest things. I have heard that saying a lot in my
lifetime. Sometimes, however, the adults can say things that are stupid as
well. (Just look at the past three blog entries.) This time I am not signaling
any one person out. I am calling out all newspaper companies in the US.
Newspapers are supposed to tell the truth about issues like politics, crime,
and education. Most of them do. Others may do just the opposite. One prime
example of this was the 1948 Chicago Daily Tribune which headlined
"Dewey defeats Truman!" Dewey did not defeat Truman and photographers
made sure everyone knew about it.
Although not all headlines are meaningful as the Truman incident, many
headlines are worded poorly. The following are a few newspaper headlines that
are worded so poorly, they are funny.
"Police Suspicious After Body Found in Graveyard"
"Include your Children when Baking Cookies"
"Drunks get Nine Months in Violin Case"
"Miners Refuse to Work after Death"
"Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over"
"Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space"
"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks"
"Lawmen From Mexico
Barbeque Guests"
The front-page headlines in a newspaper are not the only sections that are funny.
"The funnies" of course, are funny. However, if you take a closer
look on the ads in a newspaper, some of them are hilarious. Next time you get a
newspaper, grab the classified ads. Some of them may be just as funny as
these entries:
"Free Puppies. Part German Sheppard/Part Dog"
"Cows, Calves... also One Gay Bull for Sale"
"Full Size Mattress: 20 Year Warranty. Like New. Slight Urine
Smell"
"Free: Farm Kittens. Ready to Eat."
"Free: One Can of Beans with a Purchase of a 3 Bedroom 2 Bath House"
"American Flag - 60 Stars - Pole Included"
"Fully Cooked, Boneless, Smoked Man - $2.09 a Pound"
You see? Nowadays, people do not read the newspaper. They get all their
information off the internet or the television. But if you look really hard,
the funniest things in life are where you least expect them. Next time you need
a chuckle, look at your local newspaper and smile.
Quotes from "1001 Dumbest Things Ever Said"
I lost it after reading the last two headlines :D
ReplyDeleteAlso, you kind of blew my mind when you said "the funniest things in life are where you least expect them."
I may be one of the few teenagers these days who actually do read the newspaper. I've seen my handful of wrong but funny headlines that I just shake my head to. I mean who doesn't like a good laugh, especially at a paper that goes all over the country and even the internet. You would think that a big publishing company would catch something this catastrophic, but I guess not so much. These quotes always make me smile.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how the wrong wording can make a headline hilarious! Though this does make me lose faith in the capabilities of our country. :P
ReplyDeleteI can not stop laughing! These are hilarious, and these newspapers need to do some serious proof reading! Thank you for sharing, keep up the good work Tim!
ReplyDelete